I stared at the ceiling grumbling, it was only a few months away from graduation, and I needed to figure out what the heck I was going to do with my life. I still actually, quite literally, had to get a life.

Sometimes I just wish I could go to the Life Mart and purchase one, a decent one, with a lot of spare time for video games and art and music, but maybe those will all be sold out, then I'll have to take one of the reject lives, like "the deranged kid who commits does school shootings" or "suicide bomber". But then, who would actually buy those? Wouldn't they just try to make a better life?

Maybe it isn't a Life Mart, maybe its more like chromosomes, when you're born you have one, and its chosen at random, they just assign a life to you and you're stuck with it, and if you don't like it, well you become a Buddhist and trade it in for a new one when you die. But then they might give you all the bargain bin lives like.. the life of an ant or the life of a gnat. But since they're cheap maybe you can grab a couple, and if you use them well, I suppose they'll give you better ones.

Or maybe its more like a Life Bank, where you or you're parents invest in a life, like an RSVP. and everything that ever went missing in your life is payment they're taking, however its probably mostly socks and pencils.

Maybe they have agents working at the homeless shelters watching to see if you volunteer?

Maybe their agents are everywhere, watching you like a hawk, like big brother, like American "security" ?

Perhaps its all a big conspiracy? And Everyone is in on it, any you're the only one not playing the conspiracy game?

As is quoted on the interwebs "We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We do not Forgive. We do not Forget"

Maybe I'm the only one who doesn't live by that maxim? Maybe even you have betrayed me and joined the homogenous faceless mass that is Anonymous, Big Brother, The Big Conspiracy.

Am I paranoid?

Of course.

Every time I let my mind take its thoughts and run with them, I always end up back at the conspiracy theory, where I'm the only one not in on it and everyone else is laughing at my ignorance somewhere on the other side.

Its like someone put a virus in my brain called "conspiracytheory.exe" and it has a line of code that looks something like this

If(mind="vacant/wandering");
Run("conspiracytheory.exe")

If(mindprotocol="getvirus")
Get(logic.exe)
If(logic.exe="undefined")
Initiate(terminate_mindprotocol)

And then I start to think about something else, or, if logic.exe is working then I tell myself I'm a retard and there's no such thing as a conspiracy.

I decided to get up and actually do something for once, instead of merely wallowing in my lack of direction.

I got up and walked over to my computer.

Who better to give my life purpose then the wonderful, loving embrace of the interwebs?


I sat down at my computer.